I’ve written before about this painting, and if you have read the previous post about it, you will understand how personal this piece is to me. It is about conceiving my first child, a huge event in my personal life. I admit to having a strongly superstitious side, even though for the most part I am a reasonable, practical, and down-to-earth type of person. When a woman showed interest in purchasing my painting “pearl” at a show two winters ago, I suddenly got an anxious feeling. I felt a true attachment to one of my paintings that I had not experienced in a while. I didn’t want to sell it. This is unusual for me. I am normally very interested in selling my work. Selling my work is part of why I wanted to be a full-time artist, to share my work and love for nature with others. It validates me as an artist, to know that others want to spend their hard earned dollars on something that I created. But when this lovely woman started eying my painting with that look that usually gets me excited, I suddenly felt myself praying that I wouldn’t close the deal. She didn’t buy the painting. I felt relieved. The show ended and she never called me. I considered taking the piece “off the market.” I asked my husband if I was being silly, and if I should continue to offer the painting for sale. He felt I should sell it, and that it wouldn’t be “bad luck” at all. It would be good luck to sell the piece, because it would allow for my career as an artist to continue to develop.
I decided to keep the piece available to buyers. I decided that who ever wanted it next time, I would do my best to complete the sale, and not use any energy to stop it from happening. A few weeks before I delivered my baby, another person contacted me about buying my painting, “pearl.” It was an Irish woman I had traveled with in China. She was getting married and wanted to buy it as a wedding gift to herself and her new husband. I was thrilled that she would become the owner. My attachment issues towards the piece just seemed to vanish. I felt honored that my painting would find a home in Ireland with her. What better place for it to be. Maybe even someday, my husband and I will take our baby, Seamus, to Ireland and we will visit her and his painting. Selling this painting gives me a future goal of taking my child on a trip abroad, something I love to do myself. Most importantly, it continues the story of this piece that has meant so much to me. Making art is a journey to me of the heart and soul. The fact that the actual product of this journey will take a physical journey to a land of my own family’s heritage, pleases me tremendously.
So, the day before my scheduled C-section, I packed the piece up with tender loving care and sent it on it’s way. This was almost a year ago now. I can hardly believe it has been that long. I have had this blog half written and in my draft box for almost a year. I suppose I do still harbor an attachment for the piece after all. I can report that the piece arrived safely in Ireland where it will be enjoyed everyday by its new owner. I don’t feel regret, but I have learned that sometimes “letting go” can be a lengthy process.
Read my first blog about the “pearl.”
